So, my name is Stacey. That’s a name that starts with a hard S, has a difficult vowel sound in the middle, which then takes a diving leap into yet another S, and ends sliding uncontrollably headfirst into more uncompletable vowels. Mom and Dad had no idea that these two little syllables would have such disastrous results outside of America. To Spanish teachers in high school, I was never Stacey, always Estacey, or Estacia. India, my Tibetan host family called me Taxi. Here in Malawi, my name is so warped in so many different ways it doesn’t even resemble my name any more. The little kids call me Stacia, which is my favorite, and least warped. Others call me Stace, either because the last syllable of most words are cut off in general or they’re garbling the end of the name and hoping I don’t notice. The ones I get most commonly, and I have no idea how, are Stancy and Stracy. Sometimes Strancy. Often Stantzy, with hard emphasis on the second T. Where did you get that?! Why did you put an N in there? It makes no sense even in your own language! Whenever anyone tries to spell my name they will undoubtedly stick in an N or two. Also, I find the word Stancy horribly grating. And it tastes ugly in your mouth. Go ahead, try to say it to yourself without wincing.
Robert’s gotten some funny warps too. Robati, Lobert, Tablet (my personal favorite). Once he got Lablah. Haha! Still makes me laugh. Renee is Rini in her village. Katie Shae is Kity. I don’t even know what they call Clarissa. She has L’s AND R’s in her name. That’s like name death. Ross is Loss, last name Childs. Loss Child, in Malawian. Doug is dog, luckily that works for him, since he’s a dog. Kathi gave up and just goes by Anya Banda, a Malawian name given to her the day she got to site. I wonder if there’s a name out there which everybody can pronounce equally well. It would have to have no L’s, no R’s, no S or J at the beginning (J often becomes Y in some places), few vowels. Kinda limits us to single syllabic generic names. Ben probably works. Maybe Kate or Matt. Any ideas? I’m already thinking my future unborn kids are gonna require more adaptable names, just in case they find themselves outside of the U.S. as often as I do.
Robert’s gotten some funny warps too. Robati, Lobert, Tablet (my personal favorite). Once he got Lablah. Haha! Still makes me laugh. Renee is Rini in her village. Katie Shae is Kity. I don’t even know what they call Clarissa. She has L’s AND R’s in her name. That’s like name death. Ross is Loss, last name Childs. Loss Child, in Malawian. Doug is dog, luckily that works for him, since he’s a dog. Kathi gave up and just goes by Anya Banda, a Malawian name given to her the day she got to site. I wonder if there’s a name out there which everybody can pronounce equally well. It would have to have no L’s, no R’s, no S or J at the beginning (J often becomes Y in some places), few vowels. Kinda limits us to single syllabic generic names. Ben probably works. Maybe Kate or Matt. Any ideas? I’m already thinking my future unborn kids are gonna require more adaptable names, just in case they find themselves outside of the U.S. as often as I do.
I still like Wen-Kwa.
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