Mefloquin Misery

Common side effects of Mefloquin:
Vivid, violent dreams
Insomnia
Memory loss
Mood swings
Depression
Bouts of explosive anger
Hair loss
Hallucinations
Heart beat irregularities
Note: Mefloquin can lay dormant in your system, so if you do not experience side effects immediately, not to worry, you still have a chance a few years down the line.

Mefloquin is the prophylaxis drug of choice of Peace Corps. It is a potent anti-malarial taken once per week. It has never been tested for use over 6 months. It was commonly used in the Vietnam War by US troops but later found that it had a high correlation with suicide rates among said troops. It’s now also on the “drugs to not give to people” list in the U.S. Why is it the drug of choice? Because it’s cheap. And we’re not IN the U.S.

Most people end up switching off it at some point in their service. My buddy, Sol, switched after a few months when he started having violent hallucinations of killing people in his village. Another guy I know saw rats running up his curtains and people in his house. Most people who switch have sleeping problems and depression. I fall into the category of “most people”.

I hadn’t really had a strong reaction to Mef until recently, after a year of being on it. Around October/November I started having these horribly disturbing dreams filled with gore and ghosts and stress in vivid colors, usually neon green or bright red. I’ve been really upset these last few months about everything with very angry but suppressed mood swings. I won’t go into detail on here, but it was like a seething anger. I couldn’t see anyone I didn’t consider a legitimate personal friend without wanting to yell at them. Most of the people I see are Malawians, so it really didn’t bode well for them my impression of Malawi during these swings (and even still, I’m trying to undo this annoyance I’ve built up toward them now that I’ve calmed down a bit).

So this had been going on for some time and I still hadn’t really made the connection between my depression, dreams, and mefloquin. I kept my mood pretty much to myself, I only ever shared my stand-out dreams with a friend or two, who just thought of them as cool stories written by my subconscious brought on by eating too much before bed, and mefloquin never really came up. Until one night about four weeks ago, I found myself bawling in bed about how sad and lonely I will be when my future husband dies before me and leaves me very old, alone without my other half, with grown children who don’t want me, to await death by myself. Granted, I’d just finished rereading Water for Elephants, which is told from the point of view of an old man in such a situation, but I was surprised at how acutely I felt this non-existent future husband’s loss. I told my mom about it the next day, I think I freaked her out. Something was definitely not right with my head.

The Peace Corps Doc has since switched me to Malarone, which is just as potent but has minimal side effects and is much more expensive. After three weeks, Mef is out of my system and the results are obvious. It’s like I’ve detached an anchor from my insides that was dragging me down that I didn’t realize was there. It’s still a little soon to test out the dream thing and the angry mood swings, and I’m still not entirely happy (I AM still in the 11-15 month sophomore slump period of my service), but I’m not a mess. I was, decidedly, a mess a month ago. I can go to school without dread of being in a room full of teenage Malawians who don’t want to be in school any more than any other teenager in the world. I can have visitors at my house without wanting to tell them to get the f*** out. I can endure cat calls in town without seeing red. Doug can eat my lunch off the counter and I won’t have serious fantasies of animal abuse. I can smile walking through my village when I greet people (I couldn’t fake it before, my face literally wouldn’t let me, permanent scowl). Yeah, a month ago it was really bad. It’s made all the difference getting off of it, thank god. My service has had a complete turn around and I can’t imagine it being that bad again (let’s hope).

Now I’m telling everyone to get off it asap, side effects or not. It’s just something that should never be in our systems. Peace Corps shouldn’t put us on it in the first place, and then make it a med sep (short for medical separation from Peace Corps, essentially a forced ET, or early termination of service) offence if you don’t take it and get Malaria. My sitemate, Alan, says he’d rather get Malaria than be on Mef. He’s on Doxycyclin now, the second choice of Peace Corps (I was on it for a day, actually, right when I got to country, but had a bad reaction to it almost immediately. Among other side effects, it makes your skin more sensitive to the sun and I had the worst sunburn of my life within hours of taking it). He says he still would rather not be on something as crazy as these prophylaxis drugs for two years and part of him would still prefer Malaria, but at least it’s not Mef, and at least he’s still here. So far I’ve gotten at least Robert to convert, he’s also on Doxy as of yesterday. He hasn’t shown any symptoms of side effects of Mef but I’m interested to know if he notices any differences regardless.

So, here’s to Malarone, and here’s to not wanting to maim anyone anymore!