My Africa Christmas List

It’s been EXACTLY one year since I received my Peace Corps acceptance letter, telling me I’d be leaving for Malawi (where the hell is that?) in eight weeks’ time. In honor of that momentous occasion, here is a list of things I didn’t realize I would desire with every fiber of my being that would make my African existence so much more pleasant. Luckily, they are all things that fit nicely in one of those red, white and blue Postal Service flat-rate boxes…

Chocolate in any form, current favorite is Pretzel M&Ms, but literally any chocolate will be warmly welcomed, and strictly rationed to last as long as possible.
Nutella
Poptarts
Community, Season 3
Bernstein’s Italian Salad Dressing
Condiment packet from fast food or Chinese restaurants. No, seriously. Free for you, gold for me.
Canned meats (turkey, chicken, salmon, tuna)
Canned cheese…I know it’s out there!
Disney movies (esp. the Little Mermaid, I’ve been having a craving. And the really old school ones, like Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella)
Parmesan shaky cheese
Salami
Bacon Bits
Pretty much any preserved animal proteins
Hot chocolate packets
Mac and Cheese….oooh! If you REALLY love me, the three cheese shell mac and cheese! OMG I could put the bacon bits you send me in it! OMG!
Rice-a-Roni
Any quickly-made meals, by the time I get the fire going and water boiled, I’m ready for bed.
Olive oil
Olives
Good alcohol, at least better than “Malawi Vodka”, which burns like gasoline. Wonder if we could use it as gasoline…
Ramen, it’s too expensive to buy here. It’s like gourmet in Africa. And! Makes great package padding!
Nestles Chocolate Chips, I finally figured out Africa-improvised chocolate chip cookies
It’s just about Girl Scout Cookie Season…right?!?! Samosas and Tag-a-longs are my faves! Zo my god.
Papa John’s Garlic Sauce!!! I would cry. I could cry just thinking about it.

Alright, I can come home now…