Names Everyone Can Pronounce

So, my name is Stacey. That’s a name that starts with a hard S, has a difficult vowel sound in the middle, which then takes a diving leap into yet another S, and ends sliding uncontrollably headfirst into more uncompletable vowels. Mom and Dad had no idea that these two little syllables would have such disastrous results outside of America. To Spanish teachers in high school, I was never Stacey, always Estacey, or Estacia. India, my Tibetan host family called me Taxi. Here in Malawi, my name is so warped in so many different ways it doesn’t even resemble my name any more. The little kids call me Stacia, which is my favorite, and least warped. Others call me Stace, either because the last syllable of most words are cut off in general or they’re garbling the end of the name and hoping I don’t notice. The ones I get most commonly, and I have no idea how, are Stancy and Stracy. Sometimes Strancy. Often Stantzy, with hard emphasis on the second T. Where did you get that?! Why did you put an N in there? It makes no sense even in your own language! Whenever anyone tries to spell my name they will undoubtedly stick in an N or two. Also, I find the word Stancy horribly grating. And it tastes ugly in your mouth. Go ahead, try to say it to yourself without wincing.

Robert’s gotten some funny warps too. Robati, Lobert, Tablet (my personal favorite). Once he got Lablah. Haha! Still makes me laugh. Renee is Rini in her village. Katie Shae is Kity. I don’t even know what they call Clarissa. She has L’s AND R’s in her name. That’s like name death. Ross is Loss, last name Childs. Loss Child, in Malawian. Doug is dog, luckily that works for him, since he’s a dog. Kathi gave up and just goes by Anya Banda, a Malawian name given to her the day she got to site. I wonder if there’s a name out there which everybody can pronounce equally well. It would have to have no L’s, no R’s, no S or J at the beginning (J often becomes Y in some places), few vowels. Kinda limits us to single syllabic generic names. Ben probably works. Maybe Kate or Matt. Any ideas? I’m already thinking my future unborn kids are gonna require more adaptable names, just in case they find themselves outside of the U.S. as often as I do.

Group Presentations

So while I was off flouncing around in Europe with the family, I didn’t want to leave my Form 3 students with nothing to do in Biology. Math was easy to get a substitute for, but nobody teaches Biology as well as I do…considering I’m the only one who understands high school Biology in the school. So I gave the class their first group project, to be completed while I was away. Each group was responsible for presenting on a common disease afflicting Malawi. On top of lecturing the class, they had to present a drama, or skit, about their disease, which Malawians are all about. They LOVE their dramas. LOVE them. They will perform a drama about literally anything. I once saw a drama performed about natural medicine. Nothing specific, just the concept of natural medicine. In it, there was a man playing dead, a rock star, a traditional healer, and a hysterical woman. I didn’t really get it. Anyway, my kids’ dramas were hilarious! I shoulda filmed them. In the Malaria drama, one kid’s only role was to play a mosquito. He buzzed around and poked people. In the Polio drama one kid played a virus, he wiggled around the room and infected people by tickling them. In the AIDS drama, everyone died. The AIDS group actually took the cake with a condom demonstration, complete with a wooden penis model and a discussion about breaking up with bad boyfriends who refuse to use condoms. Way to go, Form 3!

EuroTrip

I accidentally deleted this post from my flash drive before coming to internet. More to come. But know that I had an unbelievable First World adventure with my family in May. And that Denmark is the second best place in the world, after San Diego. And that the Kenya International Airport blows. Hug your parents.